forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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