peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
