I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
