I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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