there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You ate ashes out of my bong
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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