we're blogging at a bar
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
