Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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