last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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