I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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