i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
