Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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