I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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