So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
