he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
