his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
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She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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