My room smells like vodka and shame
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I didn't notice because vodka
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I need to sanitize my soul.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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