Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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