Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
