when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
