my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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