I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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