That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
