Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
please come you make the beer taste better
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
