Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
