Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
