There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
