I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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