Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
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my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sorry about my life...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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