I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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