Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
