I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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