After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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