Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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