I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
