wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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