I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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