The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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