Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
