You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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