Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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