Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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