so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I need water and some morals
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
