we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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