just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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