Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize