Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
