My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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