yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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