I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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