i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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