I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole