how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize