omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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