Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
