ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
