I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
