she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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