put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he fucked my hip out of place.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
