Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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