He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just forgot I was standing up.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
