Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The power of my boobs compel you
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
