all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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